That Didn’t Last Long

Posted: September 4, 2008 in Uncategorized
Instead of letting my writer’s block stand, I got out the ol’ literary shovel and dredged up an idea from the days when Myspace was my blog of choice.    A friend of mine and I were talking for a long time today.  The subject of multiple personality disorder came up.  It got me thinking about how I compartmentalize myself.  If you followed my old blog, this is gonna be boring. I recommend that you use the time you’d spend reading this to have a little fun

Back to the whole compartmentalization thing.  Due to the nature of the games I play, I answer to a variety of names, only one of which was given to me.  Not everyone in my social convoy knows me by more than one name.  The ‘real name’ conversation just doesn’t come up.  No one cares.  The identity I present is real enough for them, so why worry about it?  More than one academic has speculated on this kind of thing.  Facades like the electronic persona we create when we play online games (y’know, like the ones I linked above to divert you from reading this) end up being how people recognize us.  So it is that ChurchV50 is known to be a spastic sarcastic gamer who is far better in support roles in Halo 3 than he is in any leadership role or key position.  ChurchV50 gets to be reasonably crafty and sarcastic, but also very self-depreciating.  He doesn’t think very highly of his abilities and prefers to let others take the lead in all cases.  After all, he doesn’t know shit about shit. 

The middle ground would be the mundane version of me.  I have come to think that I have dropped all of the crappy bits into this part of me.  I’m not really loyal or brave, and I lack common sense in a lot of ways.  At least I’m reasonably smart…  Otherwise I’d never want to be me.  I guess I don’t have a very high opinion of myself.  I’ve failed too many times at too many things.

The shining star in my mediocre trinity is Kelsus.  If this were a table-top RPG, those other two would look like dump stats.  The times that I get to be Kelsus are wundershoen.  My face may be a mess, but Kelsus can turn on the charm.  He can lead.  He isn’t scared; just look at the pictures at the bottom of the page.  All I really need to do is figure out how to undo all of this.  I used to think that just being Kelsus all the time was the answer, but I’m starting to think that reuniting myself would make me the whole and terrifyingly solid person I’ve always wanted to be. 

I told you that your time would be better spent elsewhere… Wink

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Comments
  1. Deandra says:

    You suckYou suck you suck you SUCK!Those damn hyperlinks of yours….I’m gonna end up with another obsession to add to my list!And video games is NOT an obsessionI care to subscribe to!Although I do miss Superman on Atari…..

  2. Heidi says:

    i have known all three of you……i like all three of you…….i like surprises…….never know who i am going to encounter!!!!!! 
    well i wuvers all three of you……..i think i want a peanut butter and jelly samwhich…….sounds yummy to me……want one?????  and coldstone icecream?????  😛  🙂

  3. Roberta says:

    I like spending my time reading the things in your head… it seems this is the only way I know you are still alive as of late!

  4. Sabrina says:

    The holy trinity is the seperate parts of one God. Not to give you a big head….but love is fully realized through the holy trinity. Bringing them together is difficult. But its all about faith. -Weird words from a heathen like me.

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