MMX

Posted: January 6, 2011 in Mental health

It’s been a heckova year. As usual, I made some promises at the very beginning. Let’s see how they turned out, shall we?

  1. I promised to do better at keeping in touch with distant friends and family.

That didn’t happen. I still talk to my knight less than once a month. I see my little brothers less than once a month. My son was born, and even the people in the same house didn’t know about it until after the fact. I’m actually getting worse about making an effort to talk to people. Damn. My Uncle Doug found me on WordPress and told me to call my Grandparents. Guess what I haven’t done? It’s like I’m afraid to talk to people or something.

  1. I promised to write more.

0 for 2 so far. I didn’t really write less, although I would argue that the quality was much worse than it used to be. I know that this one wasn’t entirely in my hands. For instance, I took on a new job and had a lot less free time to write. Still, I had the power to write and I didn’t use it. For shame.

  1. I promised to get in better shape.

Finally, something I won at! Dropped from a 34″ waist to a 32″. I’m physically stronger and faster. I don’t wind as quickly. It’s possible that I’m better now than I ever have been. Not a lot to say beyond that.

So I get a 33% for the year. That doesn’t even get me an F. Depressing. So I’m gonna count the good stuff that happened and try for extra credit.

Some of the less quantifiable stuff that happened in 2010:

  • My son, Julian Lee, was born. Badass, right? I think so too.
  • I went to Gulf Wars for the first time.
  • My brother Aaron came back to Denver, then disappeared again.
  • I moved from being a manager at Charlotte Russe to being a manager at PacSun.
  • I met Megan.
  • My brother Brett started having serious mental problems.
  • My brothers Chad and Jeremy Ramser, and my dad (!!!), found me on Facebook.

I’m glossing over most of these events. Everything here is far better (or far worse), but the details are for another time. 2011 is already off to a rocky start, but there’s plenty of time for improvement. For instance, I’ve finally settled on my resolutions. It only took me a freaking week to do it…

  1. I want to be in better shape. I know I said I was doing well, but that’s no reason to stop working on it. I want to be able to see the beast that everyone else sees when they look at me.
  2. I want to write more. Writing is fun, and I really enjoy telling stories. I want to do more, and bigger things in that vein.
  3. I want to control my money. I know I make enough to get by, but I also know I can do better.
  4. I want to learn to lead. I do okay at work and on the field, but I want to be more than okay. I have the skills, and I have the charisma. I know what to do and I know that I can get people to follow. Making that connection has thus far eluded me, and I can do better.

So there it is. I can see the path. I only need the courage to walk it.

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