Posted: June 17, 2011 in Humor, Work

Why are you being kicked out? Where do I start?

First, I have asked you three damn times to put out your cigarette. You see that big “No Smoking” painted all over the wall? Not put there by vandals. You’re not being cute. You’re like a child. You’re being naughty with a grin on your face like you expect how adorable you are to shield you from the rules. News flash: It’s not cute, it’s obnoxious. I KNOW you put the cigarette on the chair next to you. Stop trying to drag other people into this. I know I’m just security, but that doesn’t mean I’m dumb. It’s you and only you.

Second, you’re drunk enough that you’re lucky you haven’t broken an ankle in those heels. Not that drunk? You’re having trouble keeping that lame dress on. No, it’s not called “fun.” You ever see that drunk girl at the party that everyone avoids? Can you spot her here? Of course not. It’s because it’s you.

Fuck me? Look, it’s not that hard to play by the rules. While we do our little walk of shame, I want you to take note of all of the people we walk past who managed to play nice. I hope you feel bad about you in the morning. Get out.

  1. Former Security guard/doorman myself. Glad you did your job and I’m proud of you for sharing that!

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